So very Sex and the City beginning isn’t it? Unfortunately, my story doesn’t really include years of crazy sexcapades, cosmos, and brunches with girlfriends on what seems like every day of the week. Don’t get me wrong, when I was younger these were considered life goals. I have since learned that becoming a kicky housewife wasn’t as glamorous as Charlotte’s climb into the job title. I didn’t marry a bald, Jewish, successful divorce lawyer in Manhattan, but I didn’t make out too badly either.
In 2012 I had been dating my love, Tim, for two and half years and we had been living together for two years. We were very much in love and completely happy playing house in Portland, Maine. We were both working full time jobs and went out to dinner and drinks with family and friends on a regular basis. Our happy playing house life started crumbling a little bit by little bit. Tim came home and told me that within the next few weeks he would most likely be laid off from his job as a computer software developer and would have to start looking for a new job. I felt like I was punched in the gut. We were playing house and living the life. How could such an adult problem come into our world?
Sadly, that was just the start. I was born and raised in Maine. I loved it there. The coastline is and was my serenity and my family and friends were my world. Tim was born in Mass and had lived in Maine for about six years. He loved Portland. I thought that Tim could find a job in Maine, easy peasy. I soon learned that it wouldn’t be easy or peasy (whatever that means) in any sense. Tim put it off as long as he could but couldn’t play along anymore, “Babe, I can’t find a software developing job in Maine that would be comparable to my last job. The best places to look are Boston, Seattle, or Houston.” If I thought him getting laid off was a gut punch this was a knock on the ass.
We went through all the options. Had the talk of, “You don’t have to come with me. I understand.” did the whole dance. In my mind not going with him was not an option. How would we do it though? I still had my job, my life in Maine. About three weeks later I had the pleasure of calling Tim to tell him that I had also been laid off due to cuts at work. This made decisions quite easy. Tim would look for jobs in Boston and we would move. What would I do though? What would my job be? I had a degree from the University of Maine at Farmington in psychology. I had worked in the corporate world for almost six years. What was I to do? Look for a job? Get a job in Maine and commute? What?
One night I had a break down. I didn’t know what I was going to do and the idea of leaving everything I had ever known terrified me. I was only 26, I didn’t want to start my life over already. Tim wiped my tears and said, “You know you don’t have to get a job right?” with thoughts racing I blurted out, “Yeah, right. What? Are you going to support me?” without missing a beat, “Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m going to do. I’m asking you to leave your life. Your family. Your friends. Everything. Whatever I need to do to make that easier for you, that’s what I’m going to do.” I know, who is this guy? And no, he doesn’t have any brothers. I was and am insanely lucky.
Tim got a great job in Boston and we compromised and moved to New Hampshire. We were starting from scratch and entering territories we had never been before. Tim was commuting and I was beginning to be a housewife. Our life was starting to look like a Bravo reality show, but didn’t include $500 dinners, shopping sprees at Gucci, and developing drinking problems to deal with life. We were adulting hardcore and didn’t have a manual.
Once upon a time a girl from Portland, Maine was whisked away to New Hampshire to become a kicky housewife. She had two kitties and a husband to look after and take care of. Her castle was a townhouse in Seabrook, New Hampshire and her land was a 8×8 cement slab in their back “patio”. Will she live happily ever after as “just a housewife”? Well, that’s a fabulous question with fabulous answers, thoughts, and solutions to follow.